Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Cancer”

U.R. Sharpe


To: U.R. Sharpe

From: Paul Edelman

Date: August 20, 2012

Re: Irrational Fear

U.R.,

I wish to bring something to your attention. Allow me to get right to the point, your point actually. On a regular basis, you strike fear in me at the mere mention of your name. You can disguise yourself in any form you like, gauge, length, and now, needleless. The tasks that you are assigned and the locations that you are placed only compound the stress that you cause me. I have faced more serious hazards than you. But even scalpel blades that leave huge physical scars do not inflict the emotional turmoil that you do.

Just to hear someone mention your name raises my blood pressure. Your appearance may only last seconds, but the anticipation of insertion can cause nausea, faint of heart, and occasionally, even panic attacks. Yet, your benefits far outweigh the consequences. Without you, there would be less than half of the tools to diagnose my ills. Unable to find out what is wrong with me, would mean that there would be no way to heal me. And as an additional torment and the cruelest of ironies, the majority of treatments used to cure me require your use.

So for all the good that you do, for all the potential you have, why is it that I would rather face my chest wall being opened for open heart surgery again, something I know should be much more lengthy and painful to endure, than just a “little prick.”

And speaking of those, the whole concept of feeling a “little prick” is that it is not supposed to even be seen, let alone felt or know when inserted. Ask my wife she will tell you how painless it should be. Why can’t you just stick to the old faithful “a slight pinch”? It’s still a lie, but accurate and no double entendre. My body’s reaction is more magical than an illusionist auditioning on a talent show the way my circulatory system disappears. My veins roll like a sack of spilt marbles. Do you get my point? I know that I would rather avoid yours.

Sincerely,

Paul Edelman

Ignore What You Are Hearing


 

The dentist.  From the earliest of my age to present day time, no one has put more fear into me, prevented me from attending appointments, or having flat out having panic attacks, than going to the dentist.  Allow me to put this into perspective.

Decades ago, my dentist was an older gentleman, but very good with children.  He had a calm voice, very reassuring.  And his hygienists were always very pleasant.  In times of more involved dentistry (cavities) of course there would be some pain involved, but with the help of some laughing gas along with novacaine, I always managed to get through those appointments.  My dentist and hygienist did fairly good preaching good oral hygiene to me so I really did not need any more support in that area.  But my mother knew her role in that she wanted to make sure that I knew what was at stake if I did not take care of my teeth.  So, what better way to convince me to brush every day, see the dentist every six months, and take really good care?  “When I went to the dentist, his hands were so shaky, and the drill used to smoke when it grinded the teeth.  And then one time, the drill slipped and cut into my gums and I bled like crazy.  I hated going to…”  You get my drift.  That is all it took for me to look at any dentist like Steve Martin as Dr. Maxwell  in Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.

Keep in mind, I have been through cancer involving all kinds of surgeons and technicians.  I have had to go through heart surgery just to name one of the many recent issues involving more than thirteen doctors.  My family physicians did nothing more to me than curing my colds and viruses so I was never afraid of them.  The dentist however, at least my prior dentists will all go down as my biggest fear instigators second only to my urologist (and who could blame me on that one, “man’s plumbing” was never meant to have certain things done to it).  My current dentist however is one of a kind.  For various reasons, I am no longer afraid, okay freaked out, to see the dentist.  Howeverrrrrrr, in the event is something that goes beyond her scope, such as say… a tooth extraction, this does not get held against her.

Shortly after my heart surgery, I broke a molar.  It was then that I discovered what the role tooth hygeine plays in cardiology.  Many cardiac patients discover their conditions following visits to the dentist.  It seems that some bacteria that develops in your mouth, can enter your bloodstream which goes to, wait for it, your heart.  Given my cardiac history, I was ordered onto antibiotics prior to getting the broken tooth pulled, standard preventative care.

This time around I have been treated differently.  There appears to be no concern by anyone (other than me) and I make the appointment and it arrives.  There is something to be said to an oral surgeon who makes the comment “just ignore the sounds you are about to hear” which is followed by crack, crack, crack.  Okay, so I know what just happened, the rest of my tooth has been dismantled in shards.  But then he follows it with, “there seems to be quite a bit of bacteria there, so I’m going to send you home with some antibiotics.”  Which is a little late to be doing that with me.

I just had a round with sepsis back in March and have no idea what caused it.  For days, I reflected on how I could have contracted anything that would have led to me being put in the ER via ambulance at four in the morning.  And hear I am lighting the fuse on the “stick of dynamite” that I am now holding.  I know the protocol from here on.  Take the temperature at first sign of warmth.  And if by chance I hit a temperature of 101, then it is off to the races.  Hopefully, this ends up harmless.  But I will be a little more steadfast and stubborn when it comes to a decision like this, like I am with everything else.  Many in my life do not understand why I trust my care with a network located in another state, because they have the experience that my life relies on.

Three Down, One To Go


I was originally going to call this one “A Virus Runs Through It(Us)”, but then I though this website would go crazy, FB would have fits, and no one would eventually see it.  Not what I intended.

So with one month down in the school year we are already dealing with our first virus.  It starts with a phone call from the school nurse, “Mr. Edelman, we have your daughter down here in the health suite because she threw up…”

Either daughter has great timing at all when they get sick, from either end.  On the way back from a family vacation, travelling on I-80, without warning, which clearly there should have been something, even a pending odor, one of my daughters explodes literally out of her diaper all over the car seat and car.  Of course, being a major interstate, we have to wait for at best a rest stop before we can pull over to take care of it.

Madison fortunately is not one to get sick often with the exception of frequent ear infections as a toddler.  So it never fails that she gets hit with a bug at the wrong time in the wrong place, not that there is a perfect time or place.  As a second grader with a growing understanding of “image”, she lets loose in the gymnasium in front of so many classmates.  But it was not the location that concerned her, but rather she had plans that evening to spend with an old daycare friend.  Begging that she was fine, I still informed her that it was best not to make someone else sick.  Somehow telling a seven year old “we will do it another time” equals “it will never happen”.

Our youngest does not get off the hook that easily either.  Again really only dealing with more frequent ear infections, Emmy’s first bout with nausea came in the evening at around twelve months of age.  It began around eight at night, she was vomiting some very strange substance which originally looked like finger tips of a latex glove.  We were not sure what it was, but the vomiting continued several times.  Eventually, we took her to the emergency room only to give up waiting for care around 2:30am.  This is from 11:00pm, no one came in to see her.  By then Emmalie had fallen was no longer vomiting and had actually fallen asleep.  We found out the next day, she had eaten some white grapes which clearly had not digested.

But when it comes to battling viruses, especially those carried home from school, as a rule, I generally do not make light of anyone getting sick in our house.  One of the things that I discovered being a long term cancer survivor, is that due to all of the unknown conditions of testing, diagnostic surgeries, and treatments, my immune system had been left severely compromised.  The most significant factor is the fact that I am asplenic.  I have no spleen.  Decades ago, it was quite common for spleens to be removed for a variety of reasons.  In my case, to stage my cancer.  I was told I could live without my spleen, with just a simple precaution, a pneumovax shot.  This vaccine would be good for the rest of my life.

Of course, today’s medicine knows completely different.  The spleen is crucial in fighting infections and sustaining immunity.  In fact, the spleen also plays a major role in recovering from heart attacks (really technical – too long for this post).  Of course, I had not been planning on heart issues in my future either.  So following my heart surgery in 2008, and subsequent research on my health history by doctors who study and treat long term survivors like me, a new protocol is followed in caring for my challenged immune system.  For the last two years, I have averaged three pneumovax shots, two vaccines for menningicoccal, and at least two different flu vaccines each year.  This past March I came to find out, that even these efforts are not enough to protect and keep my life.  I developed sepsis and pneumonia in spite of all the prevention, both of which carry a high mortality rate for someone with a normal and healthy status.

So here I am, another school year, and another round of “avoid the bug”.  First Emmalie was sent home from school last week.  And a few days later, Madison was kept home.  By the weekend, Wendy went down.  So that makes three out of the four of us.  It is inevitable that I will get a crack at it.  But as one of my doctors is fond of telling me, in all the years I came down with the flu or other virus, I was lucky.  To get his point across, he asked me if I played Blackjack or slots and asked me the longest streak I ever had and what it felt like to finally get that losing play.  Point taken.  So what do I do?  I cannot live in a plastic bubble.  I can only rely on those who have to live with the same precautions as fellow long term survivors.

I have to be aware of those around me who are sick.  I have to keep in mind that even the slightest infections that a person may carry, could be devastating to me.  It is one thing for a student to miss several days of school, but another for an employee to miss time from work.  As I did in earlier days, if I was breathing, I was at work, no matter what my ill was at the time.  Chicken pox, whooping cough, strep, even a tooth with an abcess could all have fatal implications.  So even with my children vaccinated for everything under the sun, I have to assume that there are parents who have not done so with their children.  I have to take precautions such as disinfecting surfaces and frequently washing hands.  I need to make sure that I get plenty of rest, and not wear myself down physically.  And that may still not be enough… oh no…

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