Paul’s Heart, A Movie? Art Imitating Life
Two books, both based on a common thread, cancer, Hodgkin’s Lymphoma to be exact. Obviously, the book on the right you may recognize, my book based on my story with cancer and the next thirty-five years of my life. But the book on the left, “Walking Through The Fire” by Laurel Lee, was published in 1977, nearly 40 years before my book, “Paul’s Heart – Life As A Dad And A 35-Year Cancer Survivor”.
Lee passed away in 2004 at the young age of 58 years old, from a secondary cancer, pancreatic, most likely attributed to the lesser understood late side effects from the treatments of her Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, much like you have seen me mention here on Paul’s Heart. In fact, I would bet dollars to donuts, there was never a connection made between her pancreatic cancer and late side effects from her treatments, because at the turn of the century, this issue of long term cancer survivorship still was not commonly being discussed, understood, and shared at the level it should have been talked about.
Anyway, her book chronicled in journal format, following Lee from her diagnosis at the age of 30 with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, and oh by the way, pregnant with her third child. This is actually a common situation to face by women, discovery of Hodgkin’s only because of the prenatal appointments, having to treat cancer while pregnant, with the cancer and the treatment both a risk to both mother and child.
Lee’s pregnancy was pretty much the only difference between she and I. I was diagnosed roughly eleven years later at the age of 22, with our experiences pretty similar, unlike those today, who are dealing with Hodgkin’s, reading what I went through thirty-five years ago and are probably like WTF! Like me, Lee had her biopsy, which would confirm her Hodgkin’s, and force her to choose, keeping her baby, risking health to both mother and baby, or abort. I have seen this situation so many times on my social boards. She made the decision to pursue both her pregnancy and her treatment for cancer, both with procedures to be done. Lee actually underwent upper mantle radiation in the final stage of her pregnancy, clearly risky for the baby. But with timing imperative for treating Hodgkin’s, her choice to keep the baby, left no choice to the risk.
Barely time to hold her newborn, Lee quickly resumed the process for dealing with her Hodgkin’s. She underwent a lymphangiogram (not fun I can tell you), resumed her radiation therapy, following she had a laparotomy done (doctors remove the spleen, and biopsy lymph nodes and the liver). She talked about, and I can confirm, the unimaginable pain from having an eight inch verticle incision on your abdomen. This is where I am going to leave the book. And I can tell you, everything is definitely relatable.
In 1979, CBS made it Lee’s story a television movie. I saw it late night for the first time, in 1990 after I saw an advertisement, and it mentioned Hodgkin’s Disease, something up until that moment, I had not heard mentioned about anyone else.
The movie was star-studded, with Bess Armstrong playing Laurel Lee. I did not get to finish watching the movie as it was late, and I was exhausted from my treatments. It turns out that it may have been just as well because, well, between reading her book, and my own experience, it was safe to say, Hollywood took some liberties when they had a chance to portray something real. It was during the movie when she underwent that laparotomy that I had enough and called bullshit. I mentioned that the surgery involves an eight inch verticle cut on the stomach, through muscles. It hurts, A LOT!!!! And we got a lot of pain medication to deal with that pain, and when we moved, we did so very gingerly. That was not how Hollywood portrayed it. Lee was up and about from her hospital bed the next day, showing no signs of pain or discomfort. That was definitely not how I remember how mine went.
I get it. When Hollywood tells a cancer story, they don’t want a feel good cure story, a happy story, one without the pain, the stress, the emotional challenges. Hollywood prefers sad movies like Brian’s Song, or Terms Of Endearment, or Beaches make good movies because the characters die. Television is no different.
(photo courtesy of Apple TV)
Times have not changed. One of the latest shows I enjoyed binging has been Shrinking with Jason Segal and Harrison Ford. Out of respect, I will try not to spoil as best as I can, but a new issue develops in Season three, again something that I have personally experienced, and thought, “wow, this will be relatable.” Now I realize these episodes only being a half hour long, you cannot go into too much detail or story line. But in this case, as soon as I saw things begin to develop, my heart skipped, and my eyes began to water, because my intuition was telling me, the story was going to take a hard turn, one that I have personal experience with, and still struggle with emotionally when witnessing someone else face it.
A character, who I will not name, develops a heart issue, in fact, the level of severity that I faced back in 2008. The character undergoes corrective surgery, it is never said what so I assume it was the simpler trans catheter method (not open heart), but then I see the character holding a heart pillow to their chest, which would indicate it was open heart surgery after all. And of course, being Hollywood, the character was sitting up, in the room immediately after the surgery, no wires, no drain tubing, no machines, and no pain. Though there are hints emotionally as to the toll, I definitely feel Shrinking fell flat on this story line. I really wish they had not because there are so many people who undergo this surgery, and will see something that just doesn’t happen that way. Shrinking has been good dealing with Ford’s character’s Parkinsons. But if they were not going to get more into the emotional toll of a life and death cardiac situation, they were better off leaving it alone. And no, I won’t spoil what happens with the character.
In my book, I go into details. I tell the whole story, and so many survivors who have read my book, are amazed and unfortunately some re-traumatized by just how vivid my memory was when I wrote the book. In any case, I doubt Hollywood would ever make my book a movie. There is definitely a lot of drama from medical to personal. But spoiler alert, the main character does not die, so, sorry Hollywood, this story has a happy ending. It does get me thinking, who would I want to play my character if Hollywood did make my book a movie.
Paul's Heart 