Jennifer – The Strength Of A Survivor
Over my 34 years of cancer survivorship, I have come across hundreds of fellow cancer survivors, especially those who battled Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, just as I did. I have gotten to meet them over social media or has often been the case, in person. And just like snow, and no snowflake being identical to another, the same can be said for us Hodgkin’s survivors. And just like a snowstorm, survivors interacting with other survivors, just like snowflakes combining to make something wonderful to experience (usually anyway), each of our differences make our interactions with each other, often a wonderful and at times, a life-changing experience.
This was Jennifer and her picture has been shared by so many who knew her. Because those who were able to know her, found this photo the best way to describe Jennifer without any words necessary.
Like many of the other survivors I connect with, Jennifer and I shared a lot of similarities from the close proximity of our ages at diagnosis (I was actually two years older than she was) with her being diagnosed two years before me. However, similarities between us would end, as she would have to battle Hodgkin’s multiple times, end up battling another cancer just a few years ago. And then of course, she had to deal with multiple late side effects from her treatments, similar to those that you have read me describe in other posts. In fact, just one other connection, she had her first heart surgery five years ago, on my birthday I just discovered.
Through all of her medical struggles, and this is what everyone who knew Jennifer will say about her, she was one of the most selfless people you could ever know. During any one of her health crises, Jennifer was always looking out for other fellow survivors in need of support, encouragement, or even just a “check-in” to see how someone was doing, all the while managing her own needs. And I mean, she did this all of the time. That is, until recently.
Jennifer had faced some additional health issues that finally left her unable to reach out, to offer solace and encouragement. For the first time in her life, all of her energy needed to be focused on herself and it was our turn, to throw all the support and encouragement we could in her direction.
Those of us who were treated for Hodgkin’s decades ago were treated with such harsh and toxic treatments, while no longer used today, left us dealing with devastating side effects for our bodies to deal with. And as is often the case, the body can only take so much trauma. But honestly, in spite of what Jennifer had gone through, unless she knew differently, there was never any indication that her mortality was near. She had so much fight in her. And though any further communication between us, basically involved me just writing to her, knowing that she would be too tired or perhaps for other reasons, unable to write back. But she would at least see the support I was offering her.
In fact, just around the end of March, we actually exchanged text messages about her latest health challenges, which mirrored one of my health issues, dealing with sepsis. It seemed like she was finally turning a corner on her way to finally overcoming such a challenging period with her health. But more communications would come through one of our other survivors (one of us often acts as a liaison so as not to bog down family members) that Jennifer would have more challenges, I don’t think any one of us would have ever thought this would happen to Jennifer, of all survivors.
And it is so clear the impact that Jennifer had on so many of us. Her picture, the same one as this post, placed on their pages with their tributes to Jennifer, everyone sharing what Jennifer meant to each and every one of us. It is easy to get lost with all the words from us survivors, that Jennifer was much much more than just a cancer survivor. She was a loving wife, mother, grandmother, and loved her animals. It was only form her obituary, I learned of her work in law firms and as a teacher’s assistant.
As for her advocacy for herself and for her fellow survivors, her efforts, in parallel while she battled her own health emergencies, often made every effort possible, to teach anyone who was charged with her care, the extra attention necessary for Hodgkin’s survivors with our late side effects.
For all the good that Jennifer did, and for her never ending smiles, it is not lost, that in spite of her decades of survival, she would pass away at the age of 56, her body simply unable to take any more trauma. And speaking only for me, though I am sure others feel similar, Jennifer, like most of my fellow survivors who have passed, was younger than me. And as it often happens, in spite of all the surveillance I undergo for my late side effects, it cannot be helped to wonder how much more my body will take, and what if anything would be the catalyst.
Again, like many of my fellow survivors, we were all set and excited to get a chance to meet Jennifer in person in just a couple of weeks, hoping that her health had turned for the better. Sadly, it had not.
For me personally, I will miss Jennifer’s never ending support and encouragement that she offered me over the years with my health and the wonderful support she gave to me as a father for my daughters. And her smile, just like her picture, it just never ended. Even now, all who knew Jennifer, will always remember that smile, and her spirit will still be there for each of us.
On a final note, there are many “younger” or “newer” survivors who may see this tribute and all of a sudden develop an anxiety of futility, as in “does this mean my cancer is only the beginning?” No. As I mentioned, and Jennifer would be the first to agree, the treatments used today, while still difficult and toxic, are not as harsh as they were decades ago, and surveillance is better following the treatments. But it is the follow up care that survivors like Jennifer, myself and so many others have tried to bring awareness to, the body has gone through so much, and even if just through a primary care doctor, survivors need to be watched just in case, and it is not definite that any will, but just in case an issue should develop, it is better to be on top of it, discovered early, before it gets too bad to do anything about. Again, it does not mean that anything will develop, you just want to be ahead of it.
I am certain Jennifer would agree with me on that.
Paul's Heart 