Is It Lack Of Value, Or Lack Of Priorities?
There is a comment that I have come to learn to despise in recent years, especially during the pandemic. “At least they died doing what they enjoyed. They didn’t live in fear.”
(photo courtesy of Katelyn Mathe and North Penn Now news service)
An article came across my news feed a week ago. Two nineteen year-olds were charged with homicide by vehicle among other charges, stemming from the two racing and killing a 62 year-old woman. These are the photos of the killers.
(photos of these two courtesy of Montgomery County District Attorney’s Office and North Penn Now news service)
These two punks, now killers, were racing their cars on a main highway. I am from the area, so I know where the accident occurred. Which makes the next factor for me to have read, seem impossible. The car that impacted the innocent victim, had been travelling 110 miles per hour, twice the speed limit, and like I said, impossible for me to imagine anyone travelling that fast on that road. This was confirmed by an airbag module in the killer’s car. The other punk, was recorded at 95 miles per hour.
They were doing what they enjoyed, even though it was illegal, besides unsafe, and an innocent 62 year-old woman is dead. Pretty sure she did not enjoy her ride, wherever she was headed.
This is not the first story to grab me like this, and piss me off. We had an accident locally in the last couple of years (actually violent accidents happen a lot here, but that is another story). The was a one car accident that killed a teenage driver. It turns out, he too was racing his car, of course illegal, travelling a high rate of speed, crashing into a tree when he lost control. His one parent reported, “he really loved racing his car.”
And of course, during the Covid pandemic. We had a new virus, no vaccine, no treatment, and contagious as hell, and lethal. But many took the recommendations and eventual required precautions as an afront to their rights and liberties to enjoy their lives, that it should be up to them, to be able to go about their business, risk their health, whatever happens happens. And if Covid got them, at least they were doing what they enjoyed. One local business flat out defied government orders to prevent mass infections, remaining open for all to gather and party as if nothing was happening. I knew of at least two patrons who went there, and died suddenly and mysteriously soon after that. Given that they were only in their forties, and where they were previously, it was likely Covid.
Then you take someone like me, in fact thousands of others like me, dealing with late side effects from our cancer treatments decades ago. There are a lot of things we would like to do, and speaking only for myself, it is not about what I enjoy, but rather what I still want to experience.
During the sixth month of my chemotherapy, during the Winter, I asked my oncologist if I could go skiing, concerned if my body could handle the physicalness of the activity. He said that I could, but cautioned me, that because of how warm I would dress, being Winter, I would likely sweat a lot, and this of course could result in me getting sick. And if I got sick, that would have the potential to delay my next treatment. Which that is the last thing any cancer patient wants to happen. So contrary to how some people react, I was just “living in fear,” no, I wanted my treatments to end when they were supposed to. I could skip skiing one year. It was worth it to me.
That was not the only time I have been in that position. Of course, I have documented my issues with my heart, courtesy of my treatments, which of course has kept me from doing things that I enjoy, such as amusement rides and various other recreational activities. Again, the chants of “living in fear” attack, but given that I am still young, yes at 58 years old, I should still have a lot of years left, I have so much more that I want to experience, that are more important than any kind of recreational activity I wish I could do. But the risk of a fatal cardiac event taking away what I want to experience in my life, is not living in fear at all, it is about what is important.
Somehow, I have cheated death through my survivorship more times than I want to count, and I am still here. I have two wonderful daughters that I have been able to see grow to adulthood from infancy, during some of the most serious of my health issues. They are now in the next stage of their lives and it is amazing to watch. And some day, if they choose to get married and have children, I want to be around for that.
So if that means that I need to avoid certain risks, regardless if they are something that I enjoy, I am not doing it out of fear, I do it for the love of my daughters, so that they do not have to deal with grieving the loss of a father well before it should be time. Yes, I still practice the Covid precautions because they matter to me. I miss certain social activities for sure, but my long term goals with my daughters far outweigh any temporary satisfaction I would get from karaoke or going to see a rock concert.
I guess that is a clear difference between the thought process of a 58 year-old man and two teenage punks, whose lives are now officially over. They loved to race their cars. They killed an innocent woman. They did what they enjoyed. Hope it was worth it to them. I am sure they could have had much different lives had they thought about their futures and how much more valuable that would have been to them.
Paul's Heart 