Flag Day Memories
Yesterday was Flag Day. Established in 1777, the flag, originally comprised of 13 stripes, alternating red and white, with a field of blue with white stars, was adopted as our national symbol, and proclaimed “Flag Day” in 1916. Oddly, as a national symbol, it is not a national Federal holiday. Go figure.
But in 1998, Flag Day took on a whole other meaning for me, that the reminder of Flag Day each year, would remind me of one of the deepest losses in my life, the passing of my grandmother.
My grandmother, like for many, was a major influencial person in my life, perhaps, the most influencial. My grandmother was a moral compass for me. She was also my role model as I faced my battle with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, as she was a cancer survivor herself. Her passing on June 14th left me devastated.
Seven years later, I would adopt my second daughter. She was named after my grandmother. Though I have always lived my life wanting to be the main role model for my daughters, it was both of them, that helped me to live up to that status, so much so, they became my moral compass, just as my grandmother once was.
My grandmother never got to meet my daughters, but she would have loved both, and they would have loved her. But my younger daughter, named after my grandmother, has given me new reason to remember Flag Day in a new way, and finally turn Flag Day for me, from a sad remembrance, to a happy memory.
Yesterday, my daughter graduated from high school, my second graduation in two years. I now have two adult children now into the next chapter of their lives.
I had no experience, and really no personal reference as to how to be the best Dad I could be to my daughters, unfortunately due to the mostly absent relationship with my own Father. I would like to think that in spite of how things turned out with their mother, the decisions that I made, and the actions that I took, gave them the best of me that I could offer.
And now, just as my Father and I re-established a relationship in my adulthood, I know what I can expect to prepare for and hope for, in relationships with my daughters, as we now deal with adult issues, grown-up to grown-up. Looking back, I have nothing but fond memories of my Dad during this stage of my life. And I look forward to conversations and days, that I have these similar grown-up conversations with my daughters.
All of these connections between my younger daughter, and my grandmother, leaves me believing that my grandmother might just be watching down over us. And she has the smile that I have always remembered. I think of her every time I see my daughters smile.
Once again, I can be happy on Flag Day.
Paul's Heart 