Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the month “February, 2022”

A Super Dad Moment


I wrote recently about how this time of year, “Super Bowl Sunday” has special meaning to me. It would mean more to me this year if my Seattle Seahawks were playing, but, oh well. They are not.

As for the game itself, unless your team was playing in the Super Bowl, you do not remember who wins or loses most likely. And I am sure that will be the case today. Even the much anticipated television commercials fade away into memory soon after the final tick of the game clock. The half-time show will create debate, just as every year on who should have played instead, or how underestimated the show was going to be.

Like I mentioned previously. I was flying to China while the Super Bowl was being played. No, I cannot forget because my team was playing, the Seattle Seahawks versus the Pittsburgh Steelers. Of course I want to clarify it was more of the Seahawks versus superstar running back Jerome Bettis (who was playing in his final game) and the referees (more on that in just a moment).

Just as the picture shows, I put my older daughter in one of her several Seahawk outfits, this one a cheerleader. I had my jersey and a hat on. The Seahawks were represented. The rest of the flight over to China, a sea of black and yellow, Steelers colors. I had already checked with the airlines in advance, they would not be carrying the game on their television signal. We would all get off the plane, not knowing who won the Super Bowl.

The plane landed, pulled up to the gate. The jet way was attached to the plane, and the door was opened for us to exit. As my daughter and I exited the plane, the pilot said to me, “sorry about your Seahawks. Maybe next year.” I was stunned. How would the pilot know what was going on? He should have been occupied with something more important. Still, focused on my newest family member about to be placed in my arms, I was a bit distracted, as I now heard the chatter in the sea of black and yellow, how “great” it was for Jerome Bettis to finally win a Super Bowl.

My Seahawks had lost. Oh well. I had bigger and more important things to deal with at the moment, so, maybe it was a good thing they lost. I did not miss anything.

After I checked into the hotel, it was time to make a very brief phone call back to the United States to let our families know that we had landed. I do not remember the rates for calling internationally. Before leaving, just as I did before, I bought a calling card to use. I believe the rate may have been something close to $5 per minute. The calls home would be a simple and rapid “welandedinHongKongallisgoodwegetomeetemmaliesoon.” I learned that from a famous Geico commercial and making collect calls (kids, that’s when we had to call from a payphone, and did not have money, and the person getting the call had to accept that they would pay for it instead. What’s a payphone you ask? Aw forget it.)

The first two calls went exactly to plan. But when it came to calling my Dad, it was a different story.

Me: He Dad. We’re in Hong Kong. We fly early in the morning and meet Emmalie soon after we land in the provincial capital city.

Dad: Good. I’m glad. You know, your Seahawks, in particular that guy, Stephens, he kept dropping balls. They really played bad. Be glad you didn’t get to see the game.

Honestly, my father confused me with what he was saying. You see, I can make the joke, I would not even know if my Dad knew what color or shape a football was, let alone, explain strategies and statistics. Yet, he was doing it. Far from the sport he really enjoyed, NASCAR, my Dad began to rattle off plays and stats like he was an announcer. Then it hit me. He was repeating the announcers. But, I give my Dad credit. He had my back when it came to watching possibly his only Super Bowl, because I could not.

What actually happened with the game, has never mattered to me, though I do acknowledge, I do remember who the Seahawks lost to, the Steelers, and yes, the referees did blow some calls which did turn momentum of the game.

But forever, I will have this Super Cool memory of my Father, who I miss so much, almost eight years later. I wish I could see his expression at how his granddaughters have grown and who they are becoming. I know he would be just as proud as I am of them.

I would get to see the Seahawks in another Super Bowl, versus Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos, and won their first Super Bowl. See how easy it is to remember? Sadly, and frustratingly, though the Seahawks would return to the Super Bowl the next year, their hopes of repeat, were given away to the stinkin’ Patriots on a questionable play call.

But the most memorable Super Bowl moment that I will always have, was that phone call with my Dad.

A Lasting Impression


As my daughters grew up, like many other parents, I wanted them to participate in extra curricular activities. This of course, would impact their social building skills (never a problem there). Different activities would also help them to figure out interests they may have. There are many benefits. In full disclosure, I did not have this exposure or influence growing up. So, to say I was “winging it,” is an understatement.

The foundation of anything I had my daughters participate in, was commitment. If they were to start something, there was going to be a commitment. It did not need to be a permanent one, but I wanted them to know for sure, whether or not an activity was something that they wanted to participate in or not. And that would require time.

I also wanted them to know, that if they chose to participate in something that involved a “team” concept, it was the most important part of being a team player, to be there for their team. The expression, “a chain is only as strong as its weakest link,” not being able to rely on someone to show up makes that person a weak link.

If my daughters were signed up for something with no commitment to period of time, I had them participate for several months at a minimum. If the activity had some sort of time limit, such as a school semester, they rode the entire period out.

My dynamic duo has now reached the next stage of their young lives, and it will require them to take how they were raised, and realize the commitments they are facing as they approach adulthood. As their father, I can make this time period about me, because, I never expected to see this day because of all the serious health issues that I deal with. I have never wanted anything more, than to witness the women they are becoming.

Continued education is in both of their futures, with one standing on the doorstep, the other, lacing up her shoes to get ready to go. One has selected and accepted an offer to college, giving her the opportunity to extend and enhance a gift I believe she was born with. The other, following her sister, is continuing the steps necessary to get accepted to the college that she would like to go to some day.

I have been busy helping both, yes, as a non-custodial parent, it is still my responsibility to do what I am able to help in this process from taking the SAT’s to the process of picking schools. Giving my daughter the credit she deserves, she researched the colleges and schools that she was interested in, and filed the applications and necessary supplements (such as a portfolio) on her own, just the way that I did when I graduated. And she made the decision on her own, ignoring all outside noise, good and bad from opinions of where she should go.

Step one of the process to one of her major commitments in life, no regrets.

(note – I have always loved this line from the movie “We Are The Millers)

I told my daughter that if I could give her only one piece advice, ignoring everything else, make your choice on what is best for you, what will meet your need to reach your dream. In full disclosure, this was advice given to me by a long time friend and former classmate, and Dad in the process of his second child going off to college.

I told her, that if she did not make the decision for herself, by herself, she risked living with regrets on what could have been. When she told me all of her options, I let her know, they were all good choices. Just like a dance studio or karate dojo, she needed to see what each had to offer, options available, and know, that her Dad was going to be “sitting off in the corner” as always, cheering her on in full support. But I told her, this is an ultimate commitment, not just four years at the college, but for what she wants to do the rest of her life. I have no doubt, she is going to be one of the best at what she does.

Her sister is following her footsteps in the process, while pursuing her own directions. Again, never expecting to have made it this far myself, there is still so much more for me to see, and I want to see it all.

Why do I feel like singing “The Circle Of Life” by Elton John right now? Yes, I am one proud Dad. I have two very special reasons to be.

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