Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the month “April, 2014”

15 Apr 2014

Dear Mr. Franklin,…


Ben Franklin is given credit for the quote about two things in life are certain, “death and taxes”. Well, today of course is D-day for income tax filing and if you were one of the many rushing for the post offices by 6pm, I hope you made it.

For me, although as of late I have been an income tax procrastinator, today’s date means something more to me, and yes, it is the other certainty spoken of by Ben (as I used to call him as he walked the amusement park that I worked for back in 198whatever – Dorney Park), death.

You see, in the beginning of April of 2008, I made a telephone call to my family practitioner. She kind of knew who I was (only kidding, having been my physician for decades, she knew who I was, but I was a very rare visitor). I had been having an uncomfortable feeling in my chest during my workouts, mowing my lawn, and at work. It was a tightness that would only last approximately forty-five seconds to a minute, and then go away. And off I would go, continuing my workouts for the next hour and a half, mowing my lawn for two hours, or continued pushing and pulling 1000 pound pieces of equipment (it was on wheels, I am no Adonis).

But this symptom had gone on for well over four months when I made that call to my doctor. It had finally annoyed me enough to make that call. It was unusual for me to make any kind of complaint about discomfort as I have a high tolerance for pain. And it was for that reason, unbeknownst to me, that my doctor made the call herself (or her nurse) to set up a “nuclear stress test”. I had not idea what it was for. I just knew that I was to prepare for it on April 15th. I was told I would be exercising on a treadmill so I needed to have workout clothes and comfortable shoes, and definitely no caffeine.

For the second time in my life, I was being led down a path, which I did not know the direction, nor was I suspicious.

Posted in Cancer, Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment
15 Apr 2014

To Work Or Not Work (During Diagnosis/Treatments)


As if a cancer patient does not have enough on their minds, fighting for their lives, another reality must be faced for many, making a decision to work during the rest of their diagnostic process and treatment phases, and how soon to return to work once treatment is done.

There is no easy answer to this situation. It really depends on the individual and the working conditions that exist. For me, I knew of only one way to get myself through my Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, and that was to work. It is all I knew, how I was raised. If I was able to stand, I was at work.

From beginning to end, I only missed one month of work, and that was to recover from one of the diagnostic procedures that had been done, the staging laparotomy (be glad you have PET scans today). But through all of my treatments, both radiation and chemotherapy, I missed only the appointment times.

I needed to be at work, rather than sitting at home, with my mind unoccupied. But as firm as I was with that, by the end of my treatments, I had felt completely different. My work environment was extremely stressful, and to be honest, I blame my work environment for triggering my Hodgkin’s. Stress drives down your immune system. I firmly believe that. But as my treatments went on, so did the insensitivity and personal attacks by my co-workers who felt slighted, that perhaps I was being given special favors, “just because I had cancer.”

In my life, this was just the first of more than a handful of times, when I let the way I was raised, determine whether or not I would work. And though I say every time, I would have not worked during that illness, I know full well, I will be right there at the next day. My history speaks for itself.

Hodgkin’s Disease = diagnosis to end of treatments, 30 days of work missed for recovery from surgery for staging laparotomy

Heart Bypass = courtesy of late side effects from my treatments, missed 3 months of work, returned 3 months ahead of schedule to the full work load plus overtime

Septic Pneumonia = 3 days, wanted to return to work, doctor ordered me out another two weeks (not my fault I missed that time). Returned to full work schedule and overtime.

Double Pneumonia = same as above

And there are another handful of incidents, that I literally crawled into work, in extreme pain, only to be dragged out of work, to the emergency room.

Truth be told… I am a fool for subjecting myself to these kinds of efforts. But I feel a responsibility for bringing in a paycheck. But these days, my past stubbornness has brought forth its own side effects, rather aggravated the late developing side effects from my treatments. I can no longer go full tilt anymore, my body over recent years has finally rejected my “work at all costs” performance.

It is bad enough working 50-60 hours a week, and years ago operating a very successful disc jockey service. But with various looming cardiac and pulmonary issues, muscular and spinal degeneration issues, all courtesy of my Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and treatment side effects, I can only work at about 75% of what once used to be 125%.

There are other risk factors to have been considered with working during treatments. And this is a big one. Many treatments drive down an immune system, which of course leaves a patient susceptible to the co-workers who show up to work sneezing and coughing their germs all over.

So, I say, as always, had I to do it all over again, I would not have worked during my Hodgkin’s, or rushed to get back from my other issues. But then again, I am sure I would be right back at work.

Posted in Cancer, Family and Friends, Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment
12 Apr 2014
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A History Lesson That Pays Off


There is an expression that explains the importance of having had to learn history while in school, that it was important to learn history so as to prevent it from being repeated. And while the saying is probably intended for major events in national and world activities, it can apply to our private lives as well.

But just as learning from history to prevent bad things from being repeated, history can help us as a teaching tool to learn what has worked, was memorable, and definitely repeatable.

Today was one of those lessons that was worth repeating. This particular weekend is a dream weekend for me as a father. I get to spend the entire weekend with my daughters from the time I left work on Friday through tomorrow night. And I am taking full advantage of that time, which does not come often enough these days.

My daughters are at a very fun stage now in their lives, very active, very curious, and unfortunately for me as their father, very adventurous. But now instead of just trips to the movies or Chuck E. Cheese, they want other forms of physical and emotional stimulation. They want to be challenged. And for that, I refer back to my history of things that I liked to do as a child their age.

Earlier this year, I finally had them learn how to ski. My memories of learning to ski were a bit more chaotic, so I took the right steps for them, and had a professional teach them to ski, and it was positive for them, and they will continue to ski.

I recall all the wonderful things I got to experience being involved in music with various touring opportunities and now get to enjoy them as a spectator and supporter for my daughters in their performances. I got to sing at a lot of cool places, but never in a professional sports arena or for a professional sports game. My daughter did.

So today, I dug deep. It was a beautiful Spring day weather-wise and I was going to take full advantage of it. First, a picture with the Easter Bunny (for my daughters, not with me). Then it was a visit to my father and stepmother. And with being in that general area, I realized how close I was to a favorite childhood location, a wildlife preserve, now being called a zoo. It is not large like Philly or DC, but for two young children, they got to see a lot of animals and without the hustle and bustle of a major zoo. And with it being a preserve, the animals had a lot more freedom of movement. But of course, if you have been to one zoo, you have been to them all as a child. As we left the preserve, there were more exhibits with larger animals such as elk and bison, and then just as we left the preserve is a pretty decent creek and the only way to get across that creek is over an underwater bridge which kind of sounds like an oxymoron. But imagine this…

We have all seen the foolish people on the news who have tried to drive through flood waters to disastrous results, yet this is exactly what you will practically do as you drive through this creek. The bridge is underwater, but not in tunnel form. It is a platform about a foot and a half below the surface of the water, but deep enough into the creek bed. But kids love driving through this water. This was a simple pleasure for my children that I remembered.

With plenty of daylight left on this beautiful Spring day, I decided to take my daughters further north into the Poconos to a place called “boulder field”. It is a huge area of boulders that were pushed by glaciers thousands and thousands of years ago. What it is, is one of the nations largest free playgrounds with boulders to climb as far as the eyes could see. And my daughters wasted no time traversing the rock maze. I constantly had to yell to my younger daughter to slow down as she showed the most agility and with no effort at all, was more than two minutes ahead of my other daughter and myself. I recall how much I enjoyed climbing over all those boulders, visit after visit.

But my walk down natural memory lane concluded with a visit to the lake in that same state park. My daughter had mentioned about wanting to go to a beach, and I was able to give her that wish as well. In fact, for April, with air temperatures in the lower sixties, my daughters had no problem whipping off their shoes and socks, rolling up their pant legs and strolling down the beach into the lake.

This was one time, I can definitely say was a good time to remember and learn from history. I got to repeat history through my daughters’ eyes. Though I do remember how much fun I had, I got to see how much fun I had watching my daughters.

Posted in Adoption, Education, Family and Friends, Recreation

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