This time of year is stressful on its own, but as usual, our income taxes have been filed way back in February. I have a rare day off tomorrow, but it will be spent in a doctor’s office running on a treadmill with some radioactive dye injected into me. I must watch what I eat and drink as they do not want me taking in any caffeine at this point. I should mow my lawn, but feeling kind of lazy.
It feels good not to have to go into work tomorrow.
This story is a summary of my experience with having to have emergency heart surgery, and the recovery. The next three days will recount in clear detail, the same three days 5 years ago. Coincidentally, both my father and I have severe doctor appointments that day.
CABbaGe – Not Just A Green Leafy Vegetable
I have never been a vegetable eater. I will eat carrots and corn, but when it comes to anything green, not a chance. So, ears of those who know me, perk up when they hear me proclaim how grateful I am for having “cabbage”. As I don’t normally wear v-neck collars, just to look at me, one would never suspect that I am a survivor of heart bypass surgery, Coronary Artery Bypass Graft, or simply, CABG.
Twenty years earlier, my body and soul had already been through a life-threatening battle with cancer, Hodgkin’s Disease. It may be arrogance to have assumed that I should never be put through something traumatic again. I had done my time. I had already proven that “it can happen to me”. I should have been safe being able to say “it will never happen to me – again”. In true déjà vu fashion, from start to finish, I now faced another challenge. But the difference this time, time was not on my side. Time was clearly against me.
There I was, 42 years old and trying to stay, rather, get into shape. I was slightly overweight (translation – really overweight), and not very active. But for four months, I had been spending close to two hours a day, five days a week at the gym, and making great progress. But for those four months, I also had developed a symptom that I had ignored, not just at the gym, but everywhere else that I was exerting physical stress on my body. It was a tightness across my chest which lasted only several seconds into my workout. I was not worried as it was not excruciating pain as described by people who have had heart attacks.
I spoke to my family doctor of twenty years. She made comments of my cancer history, and current physical being, but made the suggestion to undergo a nuclear stress test with a cardiologist just for giggles. Of course, just as in my Hodgkin’s past, I was not putting two and two together. Though I knew what a cardiologist was, I did not realize that was the direction she was sending me in. At age 22, I had no idea what an oncologist was either.
I arrived at the cardiologist’s office, naïve, dressed in shorts, sneakers and having all kinds of wires attached to me. A dye was injected into me, and the tech took the first set of pictures. No big deal. No bells and whistles went off. Then the tech showed me to the treadmill. While I did not anticipate a marathon on the mechanical track, I did expect to go longer than three minutes. The test had been stopped as something appeared on the EKG. But still, I did not suspect anything. One more set of pictures, then it was back to the waiting room.
Then I watched people leave who came in after me. I had done that drill twenty years before when I was diagnosed with my Hodgkin’s so I now knew something was going to be wrong. I met the cardiologist who drew the short straw getting me for a patient. He was young and had a nice bedside manner, and confidence. He was certain that I had a blockage, and he wanted me to check in next door to the hospital for catheterization the next day. I would be good as new with a stint and back to my grind within a week.
For the second time in my life, I would face Elsabeth Kubler-Ross’s stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). Unlike with my cancer diagnosis, I skipped right past the denial and anger. “Doc, look, I’ve got some things I need to take care contractually with some clients. I’ll get back to you in a few weeks when things slow down. I’m disc jockeying a wedding this weekend and have two gigs the following weekend.” His response? “Mr. Edelman, perhaps you don’t understand, I don’t want you even going home.” The bargaining kicked into high gear. “Look, I need to go home, and explain this stuff to my wife and make sure that she knows everything she is going to have to take care of with the kids and the house, and everything else.” Dr. S. said, “Okay, fine. But I don’t want you to do anything other than go home and rest.” Then I backstepped into the denial. “So I can’t even mow my lawn which needs to be done? Mowing is relaxing to me.” You can finish that conversation with what you think he might have said after that. Let’s just say in kind words, my intelligence had been questioned.
The next morning, my wife drove me to the hospital. As I came out of the anesthesia, there was Dr. S along with my wife, and a co-worker who stopped by just to visit. “Our attempt to stint was unsuccessful. It seems that some of the therapies that were used to treat your husband’s Hodgkin’s, over time have caused some severe damage to his cardiac system. Your husband has been set up for emergency bypass surgery first thing in the morning. He has three blockages but of the most concern is the left anterior descending artery which is 90% blocked.” I do not recall my wife’s reaction but she told me of her knees buckling under her while I lay coming out of the anesthesia babbling “bypass… okay… bye bye… bypass… see ya in the morning…cool… bye bye bypass.” But I will never forget my co-worker’s words. As an EMT, she immediately knew what was happening and commented, “Oh my God, it’s a widowmaker.” To which Dr. S responded, “simply put, yes.” Blood was being restricted to my heart 90%. It was not a question of “if” I would drop dead from a fatal heart attack, but “when.” Dr. S. called me an “extremely lucky man” that I actually prevented my heart attack from occurring. Okay Doc, you got my attention. On to acceptance. The easy part about that, was that I had less than twelve hours to worry and be frightened. However I was still coming out of the anesthesia, and then for the next many hours, underwent many pre-surgical tests. I did not have a lot of time to think about what was happening to me.
And so, the next morning, I would have my first experience with “cabbage”, CABG. There are a lot more details to this event. But the long story short, I now owe my life to something that sounds so similar to something that I have avoided my whole life, cabbage. And no, I still do not eat it.
It is a homecoming of sorts for me tonight on many fronts. I grew up in the Lehigh Valley and tonight I return to the Bethlehem area for a special occasion, one that affects me personally, the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life.
I have been doing a lot of public speaking appearances over the past few years, but on a different level, in a different arena all together, local government. Tonight, I return to inspirational talk, cancer survival.
It will no doubt be an emotional evening not just for myself, but for everyone in attendance. Everyone will have their own reason for being there. Just a few miles away is the hospital where I was treated and cured of my Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. This will also be the first time that I have publicly spoken of my survival other than in written form since emergency surgery necessary for a late side effect. I am giving a survival speech tonight that of all the people that I need to hear my speech this evening, will not be there to hear it, my Dad. Just a few short weeks ago, he recieved news that he has lung cancer.
It was kind of a good news/bad news situation that should not really have come as a surprise to someone who has been smoking for over 57 years. He had a cough that has been persistant since the Fall. Annoyed with the fact that his doctor was ordering a CT scan, which of course costs money, just to check for a cough, seemed outrageous and unreasonable to my Dad. But as obvious as the answer to my Dad’s first question, “so Doc, what do you think caused this?”, the results for a CT scan for a cold were also quite obvious.
Fortunately, further testing (called staging) would declare that my Dad has no signs of further disease elsewhere. This is great news. He will have a great chance at remission, something a lot of 50, 40, 30, and even 20 year smokers do not normally get.
This will not be the first time my father will hear the word “survival”. He has been my stepmother’s caregiver since a tragic accident nearly decades ago. His own health path had him face a major heart attack. Now, he faces once more, one of the toughest fights he must take on for those that count on him. Most of us would consider ourselves fortunate if we ever only faced one crisis in our lifetime. Yet my father is now on his third crisis. But of all things that I hope that he recalls of survivorship, I have his blood. He has witnessed nearly every day of my twenty three years of survival.
The answer to my Dad’s question to the doctor, “smoking”. With a positive outlook on his upcoming weeks, and not wanting to take advantage of the opportunity, I am proud of my dad, that he has finally quit smoking.
So when I speak tonight, it will be in honor of a man who has demonstrated endless courage and stamina, a true survivor who must take on yet, another fight. You will get through this Dad.
Paul's Heart 