Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the day “January 6, 2013”

We Need You Not To Be Sick Just A Little Longer


I get sick to my stomach even typing the word “discrimination”.  Unfortunately, as a cancer survivor, cardiac patient, immune supressed, etc., you get the idea, I have had decades of exposure to the act of being turned just because.

As a child, I was short, a bit of a pudge, dressed kind of nerdy, okay so not much different forty years later, get off my back.  But in 1990 after completing my chemotherapy, I made a decision that it was time to start looking for a better job, one with benefits, and of course more income.

For a reason that baffles me today, I chose to work for an insurance company.  Well, I never really got to work for them.  There was all kinds of hoops that I had to jump through to get hired.  There were certifications and training, and lots of reading.  And for the first time as an applicant, they wanted me to undergo a physical.  I considered it an odd request for becoming a salesman, but went along with it.

Everything had been going well with my studies and I was getting ready to start getting my certification.  The physical went very well also, as I expected nothing less.  I was extremely attentive to my health once I was done with treatments.  So everything seemed to be pretty much in order.  And then the phone call came.

“Mr. Edelman.  Jim DeStefano here from Nationblech Insurance.  I just got off the phone with our office out in western Pennsylvania, and while you have been doing great with all the studies and tests, our office would be a lot more comfortable hiring you if you were in remission from your cancer a bit longer.”

It was one thing for me to get turned down for life insurance because I was considered too fresh of a risk, or health insurance because of pre-existing conditions.  After all, it was the 1990′s and what did our country care about insuring our sick in spite of the fact that is what insurance is for.  But without employment, I could not even afford to see a doctor even with insurance.

Since this post is about discrimination, spoiler alert.  I introduced Nationblech Insurance to the Americans With Disabilities Act which had only recently come into law, which prevents an employer from requiring a physical as a condition of hire.  In other words, I meet every qualification for the job, and as long as I am healthy with the physical, the job should be mine.  I took this company to the Pennsylvania Labor Commission where they were told to change their hiring practice immediately on the local level, and then long story short, pass it on to national.

Employment discrimination is not the only form of discrimination that I have faced.  Of course, I am damaged goods when it comes to any kind of health or life insurance as I am considered too much of a risk with all of my health issues.  I am treated differently by my employer as my absences for my frequent doctor appointments and occasional flareups, are considered an inconvenience.  Co-workers actually concern themselves and believe that I am treated more favorably, or that I am a burden on their work assignments.  There are more examples that I can give, but truth be told, I do not really give it much thought any more after two decades of being treated as if I were an inconvenience.  I know that I am not.

Recovery From The Big Storm


The last 96 hours will go down for me as one big blur.  Everything happening without time to take a single breath.  Having to continue on with care for the children, and working to put food on the table, in spite of the horrific storm that was called Sandy.

Prior to the arrival of the storm, we had prepared our house for as best as we could.  Last year’s Irene dumped a lot of rain on us, and we figured that was what would happen again.  We had flashlights, lots of dry firewood, coolers with ice, clean clothing, and plans on how to deal with the kids.  Then Monday night, around 9:30pm in the heat of the storm, the power went out.

Our story for the next two days in this area  is probably very similar to so many others.  But for those in our lives, miles away, in New Jersey and New York, especially close friends of mine in Manhattan, once again they are faced with a monumental recovery effort.  The Jersey Shore must rebuild.  Manhattan needs to get its tranportation back up and running.  A neighborhood in Queens must console each other with the loss of an entire neighborhood up in flames.

There will be plenty of rhetoric about climate change.  There will be accusations of taking advantage of tragedy for political gains.  And I am sure that there will even be zealots who will claim to cry out in God’s name, that somehow we are being punished.  The fact is, none of that stuff matters at this very moment.  With a lot of us having power restored, we can now see a lot of the devastation left behind. 

For the most part, the majority of us are now in clean up mode.  Many will be rebuilding.  Others will just sit and wonder “where do we go from here?”

Just before the power was restored in my home, a stranger, who happened to be a friend of one of my Facebook friends, reached out to me yesterday to offer to help me drain my flooded basement, as he had a generator.  I gladly accepted his offer, connected everything, and then shared a couple of beers while we watched the water pour out of the hose.

Bryan took time away from his wife and children to help out a total stranger.  Having the water drained made a difference as the water was just an inch away from my furnace box and the electricals of my washer and dryer.  In spite of the safety of the stagnant rising water, I walked through to unplug everything just in case the power came on so nothing would short out.  About two hours after he left, our power came back on.

It turns out, this could have made all the difference in the world as water had returned to my basement prior to the electric being turned on, which clearly would have destroyed my furnace making a bad situation even worse.  Instead, the power came on, the sump had an easier job to do, and tonight I got started on clean-up instead of dial-up (to the insurance company).

This was an awesome gesture, and will not be forgotten.  It is also a good news story in an awful time period.  In time, after the media is done sensationalizing Hurricane Sandy, there will be much better stories such as random acts of kindness or miracles.  Perhaps a baby will have been born during the storm, pets being rescued and reunited with their owners.  It is only a matter of time.  Snookie will finally have to get a real job.  Good news will come.

Keeping Things In Perspective


The last twelve hours have probably been the scariest I have seen in a number of years.  We have just faced our second major weather storm in two years.  Last year’s Irene packed a lot of rain to her.  But this year’s Sandy had all the makings of a real hurricane to hit this area in a long time.  Howling winds, streets littered with debris, and water collecting in our basement were all reminders of what we were going through.

For the second time in two years, I could not sleep.

At the time that I would normally wake up for work in the morning, I was already awake, never really drifting off to sleep.  After last year’s Irene I was too worried about the possibilities of spawned tornados or any other danger to our home.  With two small children and several pets, along with my wife, we knew our priorities, to keep everyone safe.

So before I left for work, I grabbed the flashlight, and searched around the inside of the house.  I had already heard the girls were awake, but fooled by the late darkness this morning, they went back to bed.  Our garage was dry.  Our basement had quite a bit of water in it.  Our dog had been anxiously waiting to go outside to take care of business.  It was fairly calm at that time, and I glanced around the back and front yards.  Everything seemed in place, trees still standing.  All our outdoor belongings stored on the porch for the storm remained as they were placed.  The trees mostly stripped of their leaves which now lay on the ground.

My family is safe.  I hope yours is too.  When I get home from work, myonly hope at this point, is that my roof is intact.  The things that are down in my water soaked basement will be dealt with as soon as I get home, provided the power has been restored by then.  If anything is damaged, it can be replaced.  Food that did not survive in the refrigerator/freezer can be replaced.  My family cannot be replaced.

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