Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

The Lesser Of The Two Evils


You can tell a decision that one does not want to make, when it is looked at as a decision between “the less of the two evils”.  This kinf of outlook is often given to political races as it is nearly impossible to find a candidate for a postition that meets 100% of your values.

Today is not a very good day for me health wise.  My back is acting up, and fatigue is kicking the crap out of me.  I knew this day would come.  I had a bone density scan last week and got the call Friday with the results.  As expected, my back has gotten worse, with my 9th vertebrae now suffering with osteopenia.  This is a change from the scan done four years ago, where osteopenia was diagnosed in L1-L4.  Last year my back also showed facet joint arthritis, perhaps the reason for the pain and shape.

Osteopenia is like the little sister to osteoperosis, bad enough to be called something, not bad enough to be called osteoperosis.  Osteopenia is still loss of bone density.  Translation, it is an increased chance of breaking a bone, especially in my hip, back, or legs.  From what I understand, the pain in my back does not come from the osteopenia, but rather facet joint arthritis which I am now just starting to read up on.

So, when you hear the word osteo, just like mentioning breast cancer, our assumptions go straight to a concern for women.  The truth is, men can develop both of these diseases.  In my case, there is a good likelihood that I could develop both due to cancer treatments.  The radiation therapy has increased my chances with breast cancer, and hi dose, extended use of prednisone is most likely the factor to the already diagnosed osteopenia.  So while treatments have their positive intended effects, there are side effects both short term and long term.  Now that I have a new diagnosis, that must be treated.

But the medication that I need to take, at the beginning level will only be equivalent to vitamin supplements.  Of course, that is possibly going to have side effects as I continue to alter the physiology of my body.  In this case, the two supplements, Vitamin D and OSCAL were to help boost calcium needed for bone support which I was now needing.  There is one major drawback with taking on all this calcium, kidney stones.  I’ve already told that story (see “Congratulations It’s A…” under the links at the top of the page), so this is going to be about the aftermath.

The hospital that helped me get rid of that pesky stone, screwed up, and did not test the remnants leaving it up to me to figure out what could have caused the stone.  All things considered, I blamed the supplements.  My dilemma?  I need to take those supplements to keep from being crippled by an increased chance of broken bones, but if I do, I can look forward to many more kidney stones.  To avoid the kidney stones,  I could end up incredibly hurt.

So following the release of my urologist, so too I made the decision.  There would be no more kidney stones.  I had to hope that my decision would be correct and there would be no further issue with my bones.  But a bone density scan to be compared with a scan done four years ago illustrate that I was wrong.  The osteopenia has continue to spread and worsen over recent years with the cessation of those supplements.  While I have not had any more kidney stones, it is clear what my doctor forewarned me, “it can be five years or twenty years.  It is a matter of your choices and how fast it progresses.”

This is not the first medical dilemma I have been caught in the middle of:

1)  treat and survive my cancer vs. potentially severe late effects even worse

2)  removal of spleen which was fully involved with my cancer vs. immune system permanently compromised with little certainty of protection

3)  carotid bypass due to conditions of carotids, risk of causing a stroke same as just allowing it to happen

4)  take calcium supplements to slow process of crippling or prevent the crippling pain of kidney stones

5)  to have a colonoscopy because it is my time vs. exposing an area of my body that has yet to be invaded and in 46 years, have not had an issue with.

The choice between the lesser of the two evils.  I have many more to make, some just as serious, and some a little on the lighter side.  But when it is looked at a between two choices we do not want to have, clearly it is something I would rather avoid all together.

Side effects of medications are perhaps the most confusing things we have to decide to follow through with.  Just watch a television commercial for a new drug and to cover the company’s ass you hear the following disclaimer, “may cause suicidal tendancies, high blood pressure, kidney failure, depression, stomach ulcers, and memory issues.”  But other than that, it is great.  You will not see me rush to the pharmacy counter I can tell you that.

It Is Time For Snow


Growing up in Eastern Pennsylvania, I feel that I saw my fair share of winter snow.  I cannot tell how much we got every year, but there are countless photos of me playing in the snow with my sibling.  One year, we clearly had enough snow that we could buil a huge igloo/cave couresty of those red plastic snow brick makers.  Of course back in the day, before we worried about car seats and seat belts or bike helmets, we also built our snow forts in the streets often between parked cars.

If you lived in the northeast your entire life, the chances are pretty good that you grew up hearing the tales from your grandparents of the struggles of getting to school in the winters, walking miles upon miles, uphill and downhill, and of course, barefoot through snow waist deep.  There were no such thing as snow days.  “Kids today.  They’re so spoiled.  They don’t know how good they have it.”  Sound familiar?

For those of us who attended school in the Allentown School District, you know what I am about to say is true.  The distance from my home near South Mountain Junior High School to William Allen High School was around four miles.  It was definitely up hill no matter which way, and across this huge bridge at 8th Street.  Our school district also happened to be one of the only districts without school bus service.  To get to school, we either walked, had mom or dad drive us, or took public transportation (which actually took longer to get to school than walking).  So guess what?  There was no such thing as a “snow day”.  It took a blizzard on February 11, 1983 for me to remember an actual “snow day” resulting in the schools closing.  Of course, the local Catholic schools would close at the sight of the first snow flake.

At 46 I occasionally bring this story out as a joke amongst friends, but really have no intention of using it as a tool with my daughters.  As a parent I definitely have a different outlook as I wait for their school bus to pull up as it is more than 20 minutes late, sidewalks flooded with slush and the streets appearing very icy.  The weather forecast had called for the snow/rain mix and my faith was in the girls’ bus driver as the district chose not to release the children before road conditions got bad.

Normally I would be excited to see the white precipitation.  Just a month ago, Madison actually asked about learning to ski.  I have not been on my skis since before we adopted the girls, and since my heart surgery, really thought I would never hit the slopes again.  My skis have been stowed in the closet upstairs since the day we bought the house, me being afraid to push myself with an adrenaline rush swooshing down snow covered mountains.  For Madison, I need to relive those times way back when I walked through three feet of snow, four miles each way up hill and back.  At least the way I tell the stories I had shoes on.

So with our first snowfall today, I opened up that closet door to show Madison my ski equipment.  Her eyes lit up and her excitement was obvious.  All we need now is some more snow.

Green Wednesday


Ah, Black Friday.  The most important day of the calendar year for retailers.  The focus of our Winter holidays has become all about the biggest sales and the earliest times that sales begin.  I remember as a child, I just looked forward to Thanksgiving for two other reasons.  It was a long weekend off from school.  And it also meant the start of the Christmas season with all the Rankin/Bass holiday claymated shows (I am really surprised with computer animation that these shows have not been re-animated).

As an adult, every family Thanksgiving dinner began the same way, plotting a strategy to hit the stores for bargains as early as six in the morning.  As years went on, the time shifted earlier and earlier that at one piont, our dinner concluded this year, with a starter’s pistol to signify the departure on Thanksgiving night.  The majority of us remaining would not even know they had left as we were now glued to the television set for the third pro-football game of the day.  Ah yes, good times.

For me, this holiday weekend means a lot different to me.  Being married to Mrs. Kringle, I will be spending a lot of time in the green.  No, not money.  Bushes and trees.  Since I have no depth when it comes to creativity and design in decorating the interior of the house, I do the outside.

When we first moved to Sugar Valley, the darkness took quite some time to get used to.  With all of our wiring below ground, we had no street lights.  Our neighborhood was unique in that for the most part, the development was all original homeowners.  Wendy and I were one of the first of the second generations to move in.

Getting back, the neighborhood was fairly conservative even when it came to decorating for the holidays.  This was not going to do for Christmas Wrapping Wendy.  So we introduced ourselves to the neighborhood with a bright idea, literally bright.  In a page right out of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, I decorated the outside of the house with every light we owned.  Two holly trees, a maple tree, a firebush, an oak tree, and a whole bunch of shrubs, the fence, 2 light posts, both awnings of the house, around the garage door, and a couple of lawn ornaments.

In the next year, a couple of our neighbors added to their wreaths with some net lighting and other outdoor Christmas ornaments.  And just last year, not to be outdone, one of our neighbors built a 30 foot cutout reindeer.  On Christmas Eve, the majority of our neighbors will continue a tradition that has existed long since before we moved in, putting luminaries along the curb.  The task of coordinating this display has changed hands a few time over recent years, but it remains one of the coolest displays of neighborhood bonding.  With near maximum participation, it is a spectacular sight to pull onto our street and see all the luminaries as far as can see.  For the last several years, our daughters even believe that Santa uses these lights to guide his sleigh to our house.  This is why no matter what, rain, snow, wind, sleet, Madison and Emmalie make sure I get out and light those candles.

So it is official.  Thanksgiving has come and gone.  It is Christmas Time.

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