Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Cancer”

Marathon Weekend 3/17/13


I have been waiting for this weekend for two years.  A couple of years ago, I ran for our local school board, and fell short of election by less than two hundred votes, as did two of my running mates.  The good news is that two other of my running mates did win election.

School board elections in the state of Pennsylvania are held in the odd year elections.  Unfortunately, too many people do not see the need for voting during these off-years.  But the truth is, school board elections could not be any more important.

As a parent with two children attending public schools in our district, I have seen first hand the decisions made by our current board and district administration.  I cannot fathom how we expect to prepare our children for the future, when all we do is eliminate even some of the most basic of education tools.  Countless stories tell of obesity linked to overweight children.  The arts and music have a direct impact on a child’s learning abilities.

As a homeowner, and a taxpayer, of course I care what happens in our district.  The value of the district directly affects the value of my home.

Campaigning takes a lot of time and commitment.  I am not a fly-by-night candidate.  Along with two of my running mates from two years ago, we stayed involved with school district meetings and information.  We have spent the last two years learning more how the district operates.  Even better, we have a head start, a better idea of what it will take to win this time around.

Everyone will be reminded by the incumbents that this is a volunteer position, as if that is supposed to be a major qualification.  The fact is, I know it is a volunteer position.  And Tina and Alex and I have been volunteering for the last two years, building up knowledge and experience.  And even harder than being a volunteer position, is the amount of time that is spent away from my family, away from my daughters.  but I am doing this for them.

I hold a regular forty-hour week job, and a lot of my evenings are spent attending meetings.  And starting this weekend, that will increase.  But then there is also the campaigning that must be done.  Yesterday was a full slate of candidate photos in the morning, lunch and strategizing, and then attending another candidate in another local election.  That is good publicity for her, and for us.

Today, we officially kicked off our campaign.  We held a fundraiser and Meet ‘N’ Greet.  For me, the fundraising is secondary, because I believe that when a person takes the time to get to know me, they know that everything that I will campaign on, is from the heart, sincere.

Tomorrow I return to normal life, for at least part of the day.  In the evening, I will put my campaign shoes back on.

Survivor’s Guilt


I am still working on some new posts and juggling several other issues at the current time, but here is a special publication called Bridges.  It is a newsletter supported through Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center.  My article is about cancer survivor’s guilt and can be found through the link below, under Spring 2013, on page 4.  If you scan the other editions, you will find another article I wrote two years ago.

http://www.mskcc.org/cancer-care/survivorship/newsletter-survivors

I’m Sorry. I Didn’t Even Get Your Name.


It is a punch in the stomach.

I never dated a girl who even let me near her without me knowing her first name.

Hiring a babysitter is more involved and crucial than interviewing for a job.

And yet, I can walk into a total stranger’s office, and without even an introduction, I can be told, “you have cancer.”  It is bad enough to be able to tell this situation even once.  But just a couple of weeks ago, it happened again, this time with someone close to me.

I recall my reaction twenty-four years ago.  I wanted to punch Dr. G in the face.  I related this story to this person as they came to terms with being told not only that they had cancer, but the extreme length that the doctor would go to treat him.

No tests had been done.  No x-rays or CT scans had been done.  But Dr. G had me not only diagnosed with cancer, but a specific one, Hodgkin’s Disease.  To my acquaintance, it was the same story, two decades later.

I get that doctors have to deal with bad things and that more often than not, have to deal with giving bad news, and cannot afford to get emotionally involved.  But holy shit!  There has to be a better way to greet a patient if not at least giving a handshake, than saying, “you have cancer.”

And so, I was asked what he should do at this point.  This doctor had told him of a major treatment plan, life altering, and with extreme risks involved.  Because time was not mentioned as a factor, I encouraged him to seek out a second opinion, and even offered to go with him.  Together, we got it across to the new doctor, “go slow”, that before any tests are done, do not diagnose him.  Take the time to perhaps offer thoughts and a plan on how to get to a diagnosis.

His appointment went very well.  The new doctor was able to give this person the empathy and care to be prepared for whatever he was diagnosed with.  Sadly, he was diagnosed with cancer, but he is able to go into this fight with the confidence and trust he needs.  He now is in what is called the “staging” stage, which will determine the plan for treatment, as well as prognosis.  That is what is called taking time with the patient.  Next week he will discuss everything with a committee of doctors, a conversation that he is included in.  He will have the ultimate choice and decision to make.

The diagnosis was not good.  But at least now he has the opportunity to go into this with peace of mind that this was not a rush and thoughtless decision.

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