Second Christmas
(photo courtesy of Facebook, Scott Fair, Pennsylvania German page)
I would neither try to spell or pronounce this expression in the Pennsylvania dialect, though the last relative I knew who could speak PA Dutch (german) could have done so easily. It means “second Christmas.” Canadians have “Boxing Day,” the PA Dutch have “second Christmas.” It is a continuation of the Christmas holiday, but whereas Christmas is more known to be more chaotic, there are no gifts to exchange, no urgency to assemble for dinner, or get to a packed church. Second Christmas is all about spending time, and a bit more quietly, with friends and family. Sadly, there are not many who are aware of this tradition anymore, which has been replaced with mad dashes back to the stores for returns and after-Christmas deals.
The Christmas holidays can be seen as an end of year “check point,” a chance to look back on the past year as Christmas signals the end of the current year. New Year’s kicks off the new year, duh.
The one thing that remains constant for many, myself included, is the Christmas tree. Year after year, it holds the same decorations with one or two new ornaments, representing a place I have visited that year. My tree is filled with ornaments and all the places I have gone. The tree is the one thing I can count on during the holiday season, to not cause me heartache.
I have mentioned many times over the years, the emotional duress I feel during this holiday. Whether it be someone’s passing or a medical issue, I have rarely been allowed to enjoy, just the holiday, and this year has been no exception. Compound this with the memories that happened just this past year. As I have gotten older, that means there are less people in my life than there were last year, and I am more aware of who and what I have lost. It does get harder to fake the holiday happiness for the sakes of others putting more pressure on me. And I definitely contrast Christmas’s of past with today, quite clearly in fact, often grieving for those memories.
It was much easier to get through this holiday when my daughters came along, because it was no longer about me and the losses I kept experiencing. For my daughters, it was about experiencing magic, believing in good, and keeping in their hearts the kindness and empathy they had been taught. But just as it happened as I got older, my elder’s Christmas changed, just as mine has over these years. My daughters have their own tree to decorate instead of help with mine. There’s no more anticipation of gifts magically appearing under the tree if they slept through the night, or woken up before the sun came up.
Everything is just quieter now, only memories fill the air, wanting my daughters to be little again, or even myself. Reflections that could take me back to a time, when I did not have to deal with the adult losses that keep happening this time of year.
(photo courtesy of Fine Art Media)
I never expected my Christmas to be a Norman Rockwell painting or Hollywood movie, and my holidays over the last decade plus years have been far from traditional especially with my daughters. But we have made the most of those years, and we have plenty of memories from when they were younger.
Now it is my daughter’s turns, as adults, to start making their own Christmas memories and traditions, and I, along with the memories that I have to offer, will be a part of their holidays as well.
Paul's Heart 