Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the day “January 6, 2024”

A Devastating “Speed Bump”


In my newly released book (on Amazon for $15.00 paperback, $9.99 E-book), I mention a time period nearing the end of my chemotherapy, where my second to last treatment ended up being delayed a couple of weeks because my blood counts were too low. I had recently caught a cold, and this was enough to destroy me mentally. I had been watching the end date on my calendar for February from six months prior. This was going to drag on for another month longer than I had planned. Yes, I had plans for when I finished, and this cold screwed everything up. I compared this to a “speed bump” which of course, is something that slows you down.

I am a “goal oriented” type person. But one thing I actually try to do, is encourage patients to try not to focus on the end date of treatments, for the very reason I just mentioned. Again, I get it, that a patient wants to see the end, to drive their way through their battle with cancer. I also know however, the devastating emotional impact it has when your oncologist tells you that your treatment needs to be delayed because you got sick.

It was not my fault that I caught the cold. Someone had given it to me. And since I was only around others at work, and my co-workers often came to work sick, that is likely what happened. I am sure it was not intentional. But way back in the day, decades before Covid or SARS, there was no such thing as “mitigation” to prevent spread of illnesses other than staying home.

But Covid changed this thinking in a big way. For the last four years, oncologists and peer support groups all over, encouraged cancer patients to take extra caution, not to contract the other “big C”. And unlike in 1989, we were told what to do to help prevent the spread from masks (they do work when used and maintained properly), hand sanitation, avoiding indoor crowds, and of course the biggest, avoiding contact with someone contagious.

A cancer patient should want to do all possible to avoid getting sick, especially how prevalent Covid is still today, if not for the fear of increased susceptibility for complications, but at the least, DELAYING TREATMENTS! And honestly, at this point, especially during Covid, knowing how we can protect ourselves, it really has become about our own responsibility to do what we need to do, in order not to interfere with an important process like cancer treatments.

So it was disheartening to see a post come across my feed the other day, “I got Covid, I can’t get my treatment.” I am always one to give the benefit of the doubt, that someone testing positive for Covid-19 was not the fault of the person infected, that their positive test was through no fault of their own, someone had spread the infection to them. Having had this delay myself when I was treated for my Hodgkin’s, my heart was truly heavy for this person, because I knew what they were feeling at that moment, their chemotherapy plan being dragged out an additional month, possibly two.

When it comes to replying to posts that involve Covid-19, I generally prefer to respond back individually due to the divisive nature of the situation. I wanted my genuine reply to be seen for what it was, empathy, encouragement to realize the end was still within reach. I did not want any digital warrior out there stirring the pot. My intent was clear, while not great being diagnosed with Covid-19, the situation was not something long term. It was just going to be an additional month, maybe two at the longest. No, not what was originally planned, but the prognosis was still going to be, remission.

I do my best not to be judgmental, that people genuinely want to do the right thing, the things that must be done to get the results they want and need. And it is human nature for some to let their guard down, or slip up. But when I went to their main profile to send them a supportive reply, my heart sank, frustration set in. As I said, I know what it is like to put the end date for chemotherapy on a calendar, and have to scribble that date out, and move it further out because of a complication. It really is devastating. This was not a situation where the person let their guard down or slipped up. Their social media page was filled with all kinds of social activity and interactions.

Back in the day, four years ago to be exact, before Covid-19, it would have been considered inspiring to be doing all kinds of activities, especially socially while undergoing treatments for cancer. But these are different times. Besides a patient being positive for Covid-19 and delaying treatments, the doctor’s office/hospital does not want it spread among their other patients. So, I am not really sure why this person seemed shocked that they came down with Covid-19. Clearly there were plenty of opportunities to contract it. The pictures on the website showed this. So now, their treatment is delayed up to a month at least. It is more than just dealing with a positive test, but also blood counts and immunity while being giving treatments.

In my book, I wrote that I wanted to go skiing towards the end of my treatments. My oncologist said that I could, but warned that if I got sick from being all sweaty in the cold, or caught something from anyone in the ski lodge, I would risk a delay in my treatment. Of course, I chose not to ski because completion of my treatments was more important to me. I could not help that a co-worker who was sick came into work, and of naturally, passed it on to me.

While I am definitely sad to hear that this person’s treatments had to be delayed, I am hoping that others who saw the post, and might be reading this post as well, realize and come to terms with what is more important during one of the most challenging times of a person’s life, dealing with cancer. No one is saying at all to live in a plastic bubble until done, but at least recognize the situations that one exposes themselves to, and then decide if it is worth the risk. I am not sure if this person grasps that instead of shock and surprise, she should be encouraging others to be more careful. Nothing like personal experience to drive home a point.

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