Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

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An Essay – A Hodgkin’s Hero


I write for a variety of resources and opportunities besides here on “Paul’s Heart.” Some make it to publication, and some do not. Regardless, if published or not, as soon as the decision has been made by the entity, I publish my work here on this page. This particular piece I wrote, was for a submission on “blood cancer heroes.” With September being “Blood Cancer Awareness” month, as well as “Hodgkin’s Lymphoma Awareness” month, I decided it was time to recognize a very important hero in the world of blood cancer, in particular, survivors. I try not to be cynical, but as time goes on, it is as hard today as it has been for decades, to give survivorship of cancer, as much of a spotlight, any spotlight, as the battle itself. My essay was on the role of one particular doctor, committed to finding answers and determining care needs for survivors of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, something medicine really never paid attention to, because cancer survivors are not given anything other than a five year average of survival. If you have followed my page for any length of time, you know that many of us live much longer than that. And we do need help, which is where Dr. Oeffinger comes in. If anyone deserves to be recognized as a “blood cancer hero,” it should be him. The first part of this post will be the article I wrote, as it was submitted. The second part, will be “our” story. Alas, my essay was not chosen for that publication. Nonetheless, his story deserves to be told. So here, as was originally submitted, is…

Dr. Oeffinger – Hero Of The Long Term Blood Cancer Survivors

Dr. Kevin Oeffinger, MD has been involved in survivorship care of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma for over three decades from his beginning at the University of Texas, to his tenure heading Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center’s LTFU (Long Term Follow Up) adult survivorship clinic, to his positions currently held at Duke University; Professor in the Department of Medicine, member of the Duke Cancer Institute, founding director of the DCI Center for Onco-Primary Care, and the DCI Supportive Care and Survivorship Center.  Dr. Oeffinger also has membership involvement with ASCO (American Society of Clinical Oncology), the American Cancer Society, and the American Academy of Family Physicians.  He is also an editor for the Journal of the National Cancer Institute.

Dr. Oeffinger has published and co-published countless medical journals in regard to late-developing side effects from cancer treatments promoting personalized health care between cancer specialists and primary care physicians.  He travels around the nation and the world educating medical professionals on long term follow up care so that the next generation of doctors, nurses, and technicians are prepared for the growing number of survivors living long after their cancer battles have ended.

Then there are his countless patients that Dr. Oeffinger has provided “long term survivorship care” for, including myself for over fifteen years of my 35 years survivorship of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  I first met Dr. Oeffinger following emergency open heart surgery for a near-fatal “widow maker” level heart blockage, caused by progressive damage from my radiation treatments eighteen years earlier.  My regular doctors had no idea what they were working with, nor did I think what was happening was related to my Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  His knowledge and experience of late-developing side effects from treatments provides answers to symptoms other doctors who do not understand what they are looking at, explains to them why, shows them how, and then come up with a survivorship plan to deal with those late side effects. 

Dr. Oeffinger once said, “I have received SO MUCH MORE from the Hodgkin’s community than I have given.”  I have no idea how many patients that he has cared for, but I have personally met many of them, as there are many of us who have survived Hodgkin’s Lymphoma for decades now, thirty, forty, fifty years, long enough to develop these late effects, I can safely speak for every patient that Dr. Oeffinger has cared for, without his knowledge, care, and advocacy, we would not have endured all the extra years he has given us.  His care has given us SO MUCH MORE than we could ever give back to him or our survivor community.

Always humble, kind, caring, and unknown to his patients an emotional toll he is likely carrying himself, I am honored to submit Dr. Oeffinger as a blood cancer hero.

And that, was the essay that I submitted, a small snippet, truly not doing justice what Dr. Oeffinger means to me and so many others. I only touched on a few of his credentials. He is literally world famous with his experience when it comes to Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and survivorship. But it is his care and his empathy, and he instills that same skill into all who learn under him from his nurses to his students to his peers.

In 2008, I set out to find a doctor who would not only understand what had happened to me, and was happening to my body, caused by my Hodgkin’s treatments nearly twenty years earlier. It made no sense to me, as I had been “cured” that whole time. Why would the treatments be doing damage to me? Through a peer-to-peer email list serve I participated in, I found Dr. Oeffinger who was working at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in Manhattan. While I had other cancer centers closer in proximity, it was Dr. Oeffinger who was always at the front of our discussions and who I wanted to see.

I remember all of my appointments with Dr. Oeffinger. My first appointment was very telling, the level of care I was about to receive. I had removed my shirt, and he began relating to his nurse, his observations. As I listened to him describe my physical shell, as if he were some sort of human x-ray machine, he pointed out all of the muscle loss from my upper torso, damage from the extreme high dose radiation therapy I had undergone in 1989. He would explain a “pencil neck” and drooping appearance with my neck, and muscle loss in my shoulders that resulted in one shoulder hanging lower than the other. He was already aware of the damage to my heart prior to the appointment, but now he was getting an even clearer picture of what he would deal with. He reviewed the chemotherapy regimen I also underwent back in 1989, and then, with his knowledge and experience, he was able to come up with a surveillance or management plan for me.

Now if you notice something about that last sentence, “surveillance or management,” nothing is said about “cure” or as he put it, “we can’t reverse, stop, or undo what is happening to you, but we can do all that we can to slow the process down.” That was sobering. I know in the beginning, I did not comprehend exactly what that meant. I had just gone through an emergency double bypass because of my radiation therapy. I should have been good. I beat my cancer. I survived my heart surgery. On with my life! Right? Riiiigghhht?

Dr. Oeffinger continued, “in a perfect world, I would be able to order a full-body scan, to see everything that your body is dealing with, but as of now, that is not available.” Over the next couple of years, he would refer me to several, and I do mean several specialists who understand the impact of late side effects from the high dose radiation, and highly toxic chemotherapy that was used to treat my Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Gastrointestinal, cardiology, pulmonary, cardio vascular, physiatry, psychology, endocrinology, and I am sure that I am missing a few, are all systems of my body impacted from my treatments. My body was now being watched for potential new developing cancers (I currently am at risk for esophogeal and lung cancer), as well as other potential events.

One of those such events, was a middle-of-the-night ambulance ride to the ER, with aspiration pneumonia and highly septic, my cancer history a contributing factor. And right at the beginning of the Covid pandemic, I would have to undergo three urgent surgeries, two more heart (a stent and a valve) and a carotid artery, all having reached a point of needing to be fixed. Treating or repairing a long term survivor exposed to the therapies like I was, is not a simple thing to do, with the procedures coming with their own risks themselves, which is what makes it critical, that I deal with doctors who understand my medical history and “why?”

While Dr. Oeffinger did not do those surgeries, he was there with me for each one. And while I cannot speak for his other patients, I would bet anything, he was there for all of them as well. In 2017, he even made a phone call to check up on me, after my area was smashed by Hurricane Irma. Long story short, Dr. Oeffinger truly cares about his patients.

I was told by another fellow survivor that I had no chance of getting to see him, because he was either too busy, not currently taking any patients, or whatever. To be honest, I have no idea what made that first visit happen with Dr. Oeffinger, but it did happen. He gave me this to look forward to, back then a 42-year old father of two daughters who had no idea what was happening to their Father, “it’s my goal, that we get you to watch your daughters grow, graduate, go to college, get married, and some day, make you a grandfather.” And I never looked back in my survivorship care, only forward to every milestone that I have gotten to witness since. I have had many severe health events pop up, and it was the knowledge he shared, that put me in the right direction to get the proper help, and to see another tomorrow. I am sixty percent of the way toward our goals with another huge milestone coming at the end of the year. And that makes Dr. Oeffinger a hero to me.

It’s Been A Better Year


Well, in just three more days, my gym is going to get more crowded again, an annual ritual. Ever since Covid-19, I have done all I can to be in the gym alone so as not make people feel they need to do anything to protect me in the gym, like wiping down equipment or staying out when they are sick. But with the new year’s rush, I will now likely get to the gym even before the sun comes up, or just before I go to bed.

I don’t do resolutions, rather, I should say I do not do them anymore. This annual “tradition” of making a promise to oneself to “do” or “give up,” more than often ends up in futility and failure. I already don’t drink or smoke, I don’t eat candy, I may let my blood pressure rise in traffic (unavoidable with Florida drivers), but really, there are not any behaviors I want to change. That is the key word, “want” to change.

Instead, I like to look back at the year that has passed. And better than any resolution that I could have made and broken, upon reflection, I like to recognize if I had a good year, or perhaps not as good as it could have been, and what could have been different.

Over these last four decades, it is not often that I have gone through a year without at least one challenge. But 2023 will be one of those years (I am knocking on wood right now as there is still three days left). 2023 has been a pretty good year for me.

2023 marked the end of my term dealing with the family court system. Like for many, and I know my trolls who actively participated in my divorce reading this, will enjoy this sentence, these last ten years of have been both a struggle and a nightmare. My sole focus of survival had been on my daughters, my health and everything else be damned. And I did it. For ten years, I navigated the family courts with all I had, and against everything that had been thrown at me. And in the end, for those that wanted nothing more than my daughters to turn against me, they lost

As my second daughter turned 18, the relationships with my daughters took a new turn. We now deal with only each other. Every decision, every visit, every conversation, is between the two of us. And while others may continue to want to try to interfere or demean the relationship, it is over.

I want to be careful with this next paragraph, not to manifest anything, but having passed my 2nd anniversary since my heart valve repair, it has now been my 2nd year of just follow ups. Though I do have a stat that is being watched, overall, everything has been stable. No trips to a… well, you know.

Another good year of health, means that I have also reached more milestones in my survivorship. I reached my lowest weight in over thirty years, cracking 200 pounds having lost thirty-eight pounds this year. I have now seen both my daughters graduate high school, something fifteen years ago had almost been taken away from me, and a fight every year since. Now, both are in college and doing well. I have my eyes set on my next milestone, of course with them, seeing them graduate college. As each year passes for me, I know the odds become more difficult with my health history, but I am so close. This is within my grasp.

https://a.co/d/2JRZsZ3 (this is the link to the book on Amazon)

And finally to top off 2023, I published my first book, “Paul’s Heart – Life As A Dad And A 35-Year Cancer Survivor.” It took me four years, and really with nothing to do during Covid-19, it should have been done much sooner. It is still surreal to me to see my life actually presented in a book. And now, I have five more actually started, sequel/prequel if you will as well as plans for speaking engagements to support the book.

I have nothing on my calendar for 2024, other than following the successes of my daughters with each passing semester, and the directions their lives will take them.

I want to thank you all for following “Paul’s Heart”, now reading my book. I want to wish you all a Happy and Prosperous and Healthy new year. See you in 2024!

“Paul’s Heart – Life As A Dad And A 35-Year Cancer Survivor”


ON SALE NOW at Amazon.com.

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